New year - a fresh start

Happy New Year............

Day one of my new life.

Sarah B says "Only dreams give birth to change", and challenges the reader to ask - What are your hopes for the future as you reflect on the years that have passed? So the first task is to write down your private aspirations, the ones that you have always said - one day I will do this.

Humm - this is tough as I dont want to choose material things that rely on chances of fate, like winning the lottery, but more tangible things that with a change of focus (and personal behaviour) is definatly achievable.

So my "To Do List" for 2011:

1. To take control of my health - which includes physical and emotional issues

2. To spend more quality time with my family - build up memories which are positive, not negative. This includes a family holiday by the end of 2011.

3. To focus on our dreams & not get swept away with the curveballs that life has been throwing. For example concentrate on the farm, and the reasons we moved the the country in the first place.

4. To learn a new skill - and revive and old one.

And to be more like my cat..........................

So dear reader - believe in yourself and ask the hard questions.

The prequel

OK although this blog doesnt offically start until 1st January 2011, I thought I would share with you why I do this.

Its because I really dont like who I have become. Decissions in my past have taken me on a road which I did not design, and life & duty have just taken over where authenticity and indivduality should be. I am not the person I said I was going to be - this is not the life that I want.

Dont get me wrong, its not total chaos, and I am grateful for the blessings that I have. I am blessed with 2 beautiful children, amazing family, and realitivly good health. But I am also cursed with too much responsibility, chronic tiredness - and a loss of joy.

Yes I have many other "wants", like the oldie but goodies such as "loose weight", "have more money", and "be successful". But these pale into the background over my wish for inner peace.

And hopefully - along the way - I will find it.